I'm Wet and Naked at the Moment

my shower

my shower begins with the removal of my clothes
I give myself a glance, from wild hair to stubby toes
things aren't the same, the mirror makes that clear
Who is this person…how did I get here?

(In my head) "thing's could be worse, I could be talking to myself..."
Oh well, I was never a big fan of my mental health
I shiver...It's time for water
I twist the knob till its hot, then hotter

I put my foot on the wet floor, I'm almost in
but I slip on something sharp and grab the shower curtain
my nephew's toy boat is to blame, I almost shout fuck
then I realize dying naked would definitely suck

I'm off to a bad start with the whole near-death
I shut my eyes and take several deep breaths
my mind wanders the thoughts pour
like wat—some cliché metaphor

I am drowned by ideas form every corner of my brain
The lucky ones stick, others sink down the drain
like lyrics to a song about nude, night running
(what do you like better, “Boogie Nights” or “Nunning”?)
there’s one for a screenplay about hipster teens
who do what they say and say what they mean

and somewhere between conditioning and shampooing
I meditate on my life, I stand there stewing
over essays that needed more time
or regretting the instances I just said, “I’m fine…”

just as I pull a hair from my soapy wash rag
a heart forms in the liquid, I vigorously scrub before it sags
and I smile a smile that doesn’t visit me often
No reservations, just joyful. genuine.

in this moment, suddenly
I couldn’t care less about college, regrets, or acne
the world’s not so dark, life’s not so dour
I’m clean, warm, fresh—thank god for my showers

and people wonder why i spend weeks in the shower...