Waterboard This (points to crotch)

So i've been on a torture kick lately.  Case in point reading love/sex advice column Savage Love (written by the incredibly funny, incredibly gay Dan Savage) when i am loveless/sexless.  Also, bingeing on frozen churros after an intense core workout, followed by a cookie dough eating stint topped off with a midnight gym visit has my body in bipolar shock.  I am becoming a masoscizophrienichist.  

But by far the most achingly painful anguish inducer i've practiced of late is reading The A.V. Club's My Year of Flops entries with a day old intense core workout still pulsing through my abs. (Yup, i just used the phrase "intense core workout" again, three more mentions and i get a free bow-flex...and the quoted one counts).  This recycle bin for film failures is written as the final verdict on their controversial floptitude: are these stinkers failures, fiascos, or secret successes?  The secret success feauture of the grading system itself is a real comfort to  frequent flopwatchers because movies like Dirty Work and Be Kind Rewind are overlooked, hit and miss gems.  The whole thing is a well written, reference-a-minute torture chamber complete with gut-busting snippets from the cine-turds in question (its like an intense core workout, except its for your funny bone...and gut.) 

I'd like to share this suffering, anyone up for a Nicolas "barbed-wire laced" Cage of cinematic hell night?  We can make t-shirts...Let me know...

intense core workout.