Kiss/Marry/Impregnate

You know we love you, that's a given. And we know that you know you love us, also a given. But what no one knows, not us or you, is what's going to happen next. Don't tell me it's inevitable. Just stop with that. Seriously quit it. I'm not gonna take that, and neither is anyone else that loves you. And there are alot of us, and we'll fight you, so don't even try it.

Second point: this is not anyone's fault, but if it has to be, then it's your mother's not yours. She is sick and pathetic and incapable of love...all things that you are not. You think you're weak yet have survived long enough to start over without her.

And third, you are just being plain selfish. You are robbing some poor guy of the love of his life. He'll end up with just some other girl...one that doesn't know all the words to "Ignition (the REMIX edition)," hasn't got a single golden hair on her body, and for damn sure didn't get diarrhea on their honeymoon from the wedding cake. You are also ransacking the cool aunt from your nieces and nephews. The one that lets them eat as many otterpops as they want, buys them yellow tights, and makes disgusting faces so gloriously grotesque they ask her to leave the lights on before bed. And for christ's sake, you are stealing a mommy that does in fact love daddy. That loves him too much, for too long, so much so it's uncomfortable for the kids. And the kids! I almost forgot the kids. Whose gonna give them their first swimming lesson, along with uncle dave and uncle dan? Whose gonna shout WOW! in church after one of them accidentally sharts so they don't feel embarrassed? Whose gonna help them with their homework? Whose gonna let them dress however they want despite how massively their lime green leotard clashes with their red pants? Whose gonna love them when they feel like no one does? Whose gonna love them because it's the only thing keeping you from killing them, because it's a wednesday, or because they are simply alive...

I know you know the answer, that's a given. It's about the only inevitable thing I know.